Mom
It was towards the end of an especially epic party in SF and I had just taken a small bump from a friend, no more than a minute later, I started to have blurred vision, the world started to distort, lights became incredibly intense and it felt like my body was literally going to stop functioning. My world began collapsing around me, my vision began shaking and I was almost totally unable to control motor function or the ability to vocalize. This triggered a panic attack, directly related to a near death experience.
I fought to get out of it because it triggered my flight or fight response in the most vicious of ways (mentally) while I physically needed to be held (not restrained) and gripped onto the speaker to keep myself rooted in *something*. I kept worrying that the next drop of the music was going to be my last, as the DJ controlled my life and wanted to slowly extend it.
I had the foresight to tell the friends with me, that I needed to be held on to and I was not OK, and they stayed with me as I went through it. They eventually traded off with other friends. I can remember just saying help every once and a while as the experience intensified; and as it intensified the very severe PTSD began to get worse. It override all of the affirming things they were telling me “You’ll be ok” “you are safe” “we love you” being among the refrains that I remember.
My friends had the bright idea to get me out of the room and into a quiet area with a banquette and there i started to get better but have spent days analyzing the underlying PTSD and interactions with any other substances. The one thing I can possibly link would have been the psilocybin (small microdose) ~ 8 hours before causing my brain to be a bit more open to the experience and allowing those thoughts to not be overridden.
Overall 0 out 10, would not recommend.