Mom
That was my first first ego death / K Hole happened in the Pines.
The world changed, and I abruptly stopped watching the fire we’d constructed. From there, I began to watch / feel myself being cut apart and then those pieces began walking through the Escher relativity painting (google it, it’s the one with all the stairs) and then using that disconnection to slowly recreate / re-construct myself. Find out which pieces had reached “their end point” and then the reconstruction moved into a beautiful world, in my favorite place (the beach) where I was surrounded by those friends who meant something to me. Thankfully one of which was actually holding me @ the time (thanks Julian) as I went through it. He’d sensed something was up, and knew what I needed, which was a physical acknowledgement of reality. Knowing I was physically still ok was what kept the panic attack away
Unlike other instances / settings where this has happened again, this was a totally controlled one where I had no external stimuli that I needed to course-correct for.